Sunday, May 16, 2010

Time Is Fleeting and Meaningless

If there were only five seconds left for you to say every word you had left unspoken for the last ten years, what would you say? Which words would you pick to say? Not many, of course, because you only have five seconds, and some are wasted getting the guts to speak and taking a deep breath in, letting air in your body as if your mouth were a coin slot and air heading towards your lungs were the coins, guaranteeing that you would actually utter the words and not change your mind. What would you say? Or would you much rather play a song or a short melody that would leave words unspoken but one that would give away your deepest and darkest thoughts?

"I don't know why nobody told you,
how to unfold you love."

"I don't know how you were inverted,
no one alerted you."

Thursday, May 6, 2010

How To Disappear Completely

A girl, about five years old, is sitting on a swing, aimlessly moving back and forth staring at the sand below her feet hoping the time when she’ll be able to reach it with her toes and sweep it into the air will come soon. The little grains of sand would make the air kind of dusty, would fly against the same winds that also made the palm trees stir, and disappear into the seemingly empty space. But one of these little specks that remained in the air would finally land on one of her bright pupils, creating an uncomfortable itch. If this girl were already nine years old, no longer forced to wear infantile sundresses and allowed to ride her bike to the park alone, she probably would not have done what she did if such thing had happened. She would have screamed as loudly as she could, the echo of her voice resounding against the trees and going back into her mouth where her uvula could be seen quiver slightly at the force of her cry. It was like a plea to be heard, how much she needed to be needed, all this time she’d been quiet, and how she longed to speak. But she couldn’t reach the sand with her toes yet, so the sand did not flick into the air and into the trees and back into her eye. So she was still on her swing imagining what it would feel like to yell that loudly. She could even feel the actual speck of dust in her eye, eventually producing a single teardrop rolling down her cheek and into the sand.

An adult way past his time of youthfulness would get scared and worried at the sight of a child not acting like a child should. That time goes by so fast and innocence gets lost so quickly. A child should play and laugh and do cartwheels on play mats and sing in choirs and be happy. A child that would much rather sit at the grown-ups table discussing the importance of literacy in third world countries and watching the news every night instead of playing in the pool with the rest of the kids at age nine, is not normal. But this particular child did not care, she’d long ago ditched her sundress and last week she had taken her first bike ride alone to the park. Not that she went to the park to play, of course that would be absolutely preposterous. She simply brought along her journal where she would jot down her observations on the landscape and every tiny little thing she saw. Mostly doodles and words she’d seen before but didn’t exactly understand. It fascinated her to the point of no return. How could she ever have time to play when there were so many things to watch? She could watch birds flying across the skies, the sun shining upon freshly mown grass, leaves falling unexpectedly to the ground in autumn, and staring back at her mother’s angry face. The rest of the kids are over there. Her perfectly manicured nail was pointing at the other side of the park. I don’t care for the rest of the kids. Not that she was a bitter child harboring spite against her mother and the rest of the kids. She was perfectly content. She would have time to be a child later, when she finished watching and listening to every single thing Earth had, she would play. When that happened, her mother would be so very happy and she’d be so very happy also.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"Well, I put so much thought into getting ready. Now I know that was the best part. It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm regretting."

Musical Bipolarity
(Also Known As: The Songs Put On Repeat This Week)

I've decided that since I basically change my mind on every single song each week and can't bear to post about a song that I used to love, but don't quite as love anymore today, I will post my weekly likings instead of picking random songs I've liked in the past. People get annoyed at my inability to leave my ipod on shuffle since I keep changing the song. Then, I wonder why I still have this song in my ipod since I don't really like to listen to it as much anymore. The answer is that perhaps this week I loathe it, and next week it'll be my favorite. I like to call it Musical Bipolarity.
This week, on Musical Bipolarity...

1. Fire Bomb - Rihanna

The lovers need to clear the road
Cause this thing is ready to blow
I just wanna set you on fire
So I wont have to burn alone
Then you
Then you'll know where
I'm coming from

As I probably mentioned before, I always try to find one song that might make a pop artist worth listening to. Firebomb is Rihanna's. The lyrics aren't very powerful but you can still see it. I really like the backing instruments and the feel to the song.

2. Gardenia - Mandy Moore

Well, I hear my own voice
Sounds so silly
Keep on telling my story all around
Everything I lost seems so different
Well, this is how everybody gets found

I always thought Mandy Moore had this cute but soulful voice. But I intensely disliked all of her albums. They were all some kind of overdone pop musical number. So that you can understand my suffering please care to listen to this. I would understand if your ears start bleeding and your eyes go blind. I think the music video sucks even more than the song. But anyway, Mandy Moore married Ryan Adams!!!!!!! If you do not know who he is, please find out now and look up any of his songs on youtube. He is epic. Mandy Moore started making good music as soon as she married this guy. And so she released "Wild Hope" and "Amanda Leigh" which are so good, it must be painful for her to remember the kind of music she made before.

3. Fly - Ludovico Einaudi

An instrumental. Just to sleep or read or relax. Breathtaking. The picture I get in my head when listening to this is a balloon going high up into the sky. Very, very good.

4. Your Hand In Mine - Explosions in the Sky

Another instrumental. Except it's a little more alternative and heavier than "Fly". I think they all tell a story even though they don't have any lyrics.

5. The Story - Brandi Carlile

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to

Definitely my favorite this week. Sung with all the rage and all of her passion.

Power to the Women!

We have been mistreated, violated, used, defied, degraded, and *insert similar offensive verb* by the world. So now, we have the right to write deranged feminist songs about our suffering. I present to you, the girl power. Women were not the hunter-gatherers in prehistoric times, but tell me, who gave birth to the children and cooked for the men? Women did. Revenge was coming. Mary Wollstonecraft, then; Kate Nash, Regina Spektor, Taylor Swift (yes), Alanis Morisette, Joan Jett, now. I thought of my favorite woman power songs with my favorite lyrics and put them on here. :)

1. Merry Happy - Kate Nash

Dancing at discos
Eating cheese on toast
Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone, yeah
I can watch a sunset on my own
I can be alone
I can watch a sunset on my own

Kate Nash was a recent discovery. So amazing. This could be the hymn to independence in my opinion.

2. Fifteen - Taylor Swift

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

I try to ignore most of the song because it really is overly cliche and the idea is completely unoriginal. But there are just a few lines that I think every teenage girl should hear.
It's not like you are going to marry him.

3. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

Do I even need to write a description for this? You're living in the past, it's a new generation. It's Joan Jett.

4. If I Were A Boy - Beyonce

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

5. What It Feels Like For A Girl - Madonna

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

Glee recently covered this one. It kind of sucked. It could have been good, but only guys were singing it, so it was... weird.

6. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morisette

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

I love Alanis Morisette. Jagged Little Pill is the best example of power to the women. I would write the rest of the awesome lyrics but they're a little R-rated. I also love the wail she does when she says "Here!" in the chorus. She rocks.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

"I wanna hurry home to you put on a slow, dumb show for you and crack you up."

Do you know that feeling?
When you listen to a song and you feel goosebumps because you get what it's telling you so clearly that you want to laugh and cry all at the same time?
When that song might not make sense the first time, but all the other times it is simply breathtaking?
When you wait for those few seconds into the song, just so you can pay closer attention to those words you'd been waiting to hear?

It's here.

Standing at the punch table swallowing punch
can’t pay attention to the sound of anyone
a little more stupid, a little more scared
every minute more unprepared

I made a mistake in my life today
everything I love gets lost in drawers
I want to start over, I want to be winning
way out of sync from the beginning

You know I dreamed about you
for twenty-nine years before I saw you
You know I dreamed about you
I missed you for
for twenty-nine years

It's not because I can relate this song to my life or anything. It was just right there waiting to be played at the exact right time and place. My latest obsession, I feel like I am insulting this song by calling it my latest, as if I'll have a new one next week. I probably will, but right now I am living in this one. I'm afraid to look up other songs by The National, they'll probably be disappointing next to this one.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Working Out: The Music

Recently, I've been getting into really, really bad music. Well, bad according to my standards. I have been listening to mexican pop and recent top 100 hits. This is not me. It's just that you just caught up in it. The music industry knows what the public likes and that's how they know how to make a song popular. Something catchy and upbeat that you want to listen to again and again. So here is I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas (I cannot believe I lowered myself to this), When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls, and Lovegame by Lady GaGa. Why, you ask? Because I have recently discovered that my resistance on the treadmill augments by 15 minutes when I listen to Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry rather than Blood Bank by Bon Iver.

So I have come to the conclusion that I can divide my musical taste into two categories: The Working Out/Having Fun Playlist and The Good Music Playlist.

The Workout Playlist

I won't even bother analyzing the lyrics. They're all pretty generic.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Why Music is the Best Distraction and Helps With Anger Management.

Teenagers are often called 'rebellious', 'angsty', 'overly-dramatic', 'insufferable', etc... In fact, they are often mocked for using music as an escape, immediately being stereotyped as the typical spoiled and emotional teenager. The one who listens to 'emo' crap, writes poetry, and dreams of someday not being a loner and be admired by his fellow peers.

I actually think that this stereotype is completely overrated and exaggerated. My point is: emo music. Is it actually emo? What is emo anyway? Is there actually good so-called emo music out there? Next, I will answer these questions.

Emo, according to UrbanDictionary (Also Known As the most hilarious definitions ever):
Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who dont smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5 ths of the face at an angle.

Emo, according to general knowledge: short for emotional. To me emo music, is simply emotional music. In other words, music that has emotion (feeling).

Here, I bring you some of my favorites from what I consider is music with feeling and what is labeled as emo.

23 - Jimmy Eat World
The Poison - The All American Rejects
Me and the Moon - Something Corporate
Lost and Found - Senses Fail
Your Guardian Angel - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
The Unwinding Cable Car - Anberlin
Lust A Prima Vista - The Spill Canvas